Part the First

Well, as a few of you may have gathered, Reg and I have crossed the pond and are in the USA for a bit of a holiday. I still don't know what day it is or what time zone I'm in, all I know is that I love the thingies to bits and I'm having a blast!

So here is some good stuff that has happened to me so far:

• meeting Jinxie and her girls (get outta my luggage, Mini!)
• going to Sarges and spending an entire day and a small fortune there (seriously, people, if you are looking for something, get in contact with Jinx, she can get you anything and probably wholesale)
• 'cultural experiences' in America
• arriving at Margret's bearing wombats, Violet Crumbles and goodies for the non-existent kidlets
• Hostess fruit pies
• horrifying Reg on the trip to Knoxville (14 hours in an enclosed space with 4 thingie women--ohhh, yeah baby!)
• "Are we nearly there yet?"
• meeting more thingies at the hotel
• "Ohmigod, it's Neil! Lucy Anne, you know him, introduce us!" Pushy bitch? Moi? Never!
• the look of shock on Neil's face when it registered how far I had travelled to meet him, hee, hee, hee
• watching Jinx lose the plot entirely over Bob Weir
• sitting around in the lobby/Michelle's room/Walker's room discussing life, the universe and everything
• introducing other thingies to the wonders of the Tim Tam. There is no escape...
• getting to talk to Neil in the con room and at the signing (and yes, I know why Jessica sings "I'm a Believer" when she has sex in Neverwhere)
• meeting Charles Vess and having a beautiful fairy drawn in my copy of Stardust
• Mafia!
• watching Morgana shatter glass in her effort to get away from the tentacles
• listening to Neil read out loud... sigh...
• watching Walker ham it up at the auction
• the thingie cheese/beefcake calendar
• missing the X-Files!
• trying not to be sad and weepy as I said goodbye to thingies
• getting an invite to stay with the diva!
• finally getting some sleep on the drive to Margret's
• seeing the New York skyline at night
• meeting the lovely Sal
• Sifl and Olly!

And that was just the first week and a half. Phew! More on my adventures in New York and then LA later!

Part the Second

Wow, having this much fun should be illegal... I would just like to point out that if you think the thingies are lovely online, it is nothing compared to how sweet and friendly they are in real life. I have been treated like a queen on this holiday and would like to extend special thanks to Jinxie, Lucy Anne, Margret, Morgana and Michelle for letting me stay/ferrying me around/showing me the sights and generally being wonderful. But you just want to hear what I have been up to, so here it is.

New York, New York! Morgana made sure I did everything that has to be done in New York short of being mugged on the subway. In two and a half days we managed to walk around the city, see the Metropolitan Museum of Art (sigh--I need another week to explore that), take in a Broadway show (the Vagina Monologues--go see this, it is fantastic, and I want a Bob), eat a pretzel and a slice of Junior's cheesecake and some good sushi (without the tako), ride the subway, see Times Square, walk the promenade and see the skyline by daylight and so much more. It was wonderful and I love New York! Folks, if you are ever in the area, give the diva a call. She knows how to show you a good time (and I wish I could say that I saw the boob tube/parachute pants photos, but I couldn't find them, no matter how hard I looked...)

It was a bit of a bumpy ride to San Francisco, but well worth it. Michelle and Sebastian Melmoth (Sir Bastard) met me at the airport (hi Sebastian, sorry I missed your birthday!) and took me out for more good sushi. I got to see Sebastian's extensive collection of rarities (and torment his cats).

I got to meet the elusive Fernando. I spent the next day wandering Berkeley and seeing Michelle sing Christmas carols at the university (you should have seen us shimmy when it got to the 'nine ladies dancing' line in the audience participation section.) Then Michelle's folks took us out for more excellent sushi (right, that's it, no more flippin' raw fish, ok!) and we frocked up (in black, of course) for an amusing evening in the Castro and then listening to Fernando DJ in drag (oooh, fetching!) at Dr van Helsing's.

That's where I met the very charming Chris, who offered to play tour guide. After yummy Icelandic pancakes (thanks for the recipe, Margret!) he and Michelle took me to Ocean Beach and the Sutro Baths, Golden Gate Park (complete with buffalo) and Twin Peaks. Then it was off to Haight St for fetish-wear shopping (nice boots...) and dinner in the Mission district (my first experience of good Mexican!).

I finally got my Scully fix (Chris had the previous week's X-Files and then there were the two episodes screened that night). Then Chris gallantly offered to escort me around SF the next day. I got to see Pier 39, Fisherman's Wharf, Coit Tower, Lombard St, Twin Peaks again and Chinatown. Then it was drinkies with Rain where we bored Chris stiff by comparing Neil stories. We headed back to Chris' to meet up with Michelle where we tormented crickets, salamanders and cats (not necessarily in that order).

Michelle, did we have a Sunday, and if we did, what did we do...?

Part the Third

I'm back home where the sun doesn't set before 8pm and the mercury hits 94F (yay, summer!). This also means I'm back at work (boo, hiss), but a girl has to pay off the damage she did to her credit card somehow, non?

When we last left her, our heroine was buzzing around San Francisco with a bunch of people who wear black...

I decided that I wanted to check out the Exploratorium and as Michelle was at work, I braved the BART system. Unfortunately, the theme of my holiday seemed to be 'the best laid plans...' Nothing worked out the way I planned it, but serendipity kicked in and good things happened anyway. Through misdirection and complete stupidity I ended up as far away from the Exploratorium as it was possible to be and still be in SF, so I hit the SFMOMA instead. Mmmmm, art... although the multimedia installation featuring a guy spitting into a woman's mouth wasn't something I needed to see.

I took myself off to see Princess Mononoke after that and enjoyed it thoroughly. Was I the only one to get a kick out of seeing Neil's name on the big screen?

Finally arrived back at Michelle's and we headed off to a (quelle surprise) goth bar where I met another person who knew 'Walker and had a drink created just for me! The 'LadyMissTree' is green, sweet and terribly more-ish. Appropriate, non? The recipe:

3 parts Midori
2 parts Mandarin Absolut
1/2 part sweet & sour
Splash pineapple and orange juice

Shake and serve over ice with a slice of orange and a cherry.

Mmmm, tasty. I drank lots of those (thanks Dave!) then, when the bar closed at the uncivilised hour of 2am, it was off to Bagdad Cafe for yummy munchies.

The next day was a lovely quiet one. Michelle and I just sat around nattering (while I booked flights and accommodation on the web and she booked belly-dancing lessons--don't you just love technology?) That night we met Tom, Christopher Shumway and his lovely lady at Entros for drinkies and then she convinced us to go to a Spanish restaurant that served the best fucking paella in the history of the world. While Tom tried to find parking, we waited to be seated so we could order the best fucking paella in the history of the world. In the meantime we sipped pretty good sangria. We ordered lots of lovely tapas and the best fucking paella in the history of the world.

It was pretty good.

We took a photo opportunity before we all dispersed (and I sweet-talked Tom out of his copy of Midnight Days--thanks, Tom!).

The last two days were a bit of a mess. My cab never arrived to take me to Oakland Airport so I ended up getting a lift with a complete stranger who saw me waiting and looking woebegone (complete stranger, foreign country--sure! I'll get into your car.) While I didn't have to pay a cab fare, I did have to listen to him convince me to accept Jesus Christ as my personal saviour. Well, it could have been worse.

I would also like to put in a plug for South West Airlines here. They have the funniest pre-flight announcements I have ever heard: "In the event that this flight becomes a cruise, inflatable rafts can be found…" and "Please fit your own mask before fitting masks for children or adults who are behaving like complete babies."

The hotel in LA was tres plush, a king-sized bed to myself and a bath! After sleeping on couches for a week and a half, I thought I had died and gone to heaven! Had to spend the next day in LAX. Ew. Purgatory. I hate LAX. The only redeeming feature of the place is that you get to go a long way away from it once you board your plane. Mind you, 15 hours flying out of LAX and you begin to wonder if you aren't being punished for behaviour in a past life.

So there it is. And once I've finished paying off the credit card, I'm going to start saving so I can do it all again.

Guess I'm just a sucker for punishment.