For those of you who don't know the story, Ghost Who Walks and I ran into each other on alt.fan.neil-gaiman about two years ago. We emailed and chatted for a while and ran up excruciatingly high phone bills. But then, that's what happens when you are calling from Melbourne, Australia to Atlanta, Georgia each night.

He visited in July of last year and we also spent some time together while I was in Dallas earlier this year. We planned for him to visit again for my birthday this year.

It became obvious that a visit was not really what we wanted. What we had was good and made us happy and we wanted to make it permanent. So, while he was here, we went to an immigration agent to find out just what we had to do.

So here we are.

The marriage doesn't make it permanent yet. We still have to negotiate the treacherous waters of Australian immigration, but this helps.

The ceremony was small and surprisingly fast. Just a couple of words, our signatures and the witness signatures (Chiliflower and my baby brother) and we were done.

Bonus points went to the celebrant for not being terribly embarrassed after asking our cameraman, Guy, "What's the name of the guy with the camera?"

We went to a local park to get some photos. There was much faffing about as my heels sunk into the grass and we were blinded by the sun. But we ended up with some lovely shots.

Dinner was a pretty casual affair at the North Fitzroy Star. It was, for me, the perfect day. Low key, no agonising about who sat next to who or who got the front pew and it was all about us, and not other people's expectations of us.

For those who participated (or helped), I thank you. For those who weren't there and sent their best wishes (and didn't hate me for not inviting them) I thank you also.

Let's hope we celebrate our first anniversary with a residency visa.

And it's you that I love
And it's true that I love
And it's love not given lightly
But I know that it's love
And it's you that I love
And it's more than what it might be

And every word I say is true

'Not Given Lightly'
Chris Knox

Especially from my mother.

Here's the thing.

Ghost and I knew what we were getting into when he came over here.

I had contacted the immigration department and talked to several completely useless people who told me entirely the wrong things. And then we spoke to a lovely immigration expert who laid out the bare bones of the situation.

Ghost gave up his family, friends and job and flew tens of thousands of miles to be with me.

It's going to cost us about $4000 (not including airfares) to keep him here.

There are rigorous medical examinations, FBI checks and all sorts of poking around into our characters and backgrounds.

We have to provide more forms of identification and verification than you ever thought possible.

He will be out of work for months while the application is processed.

On top of all of this, we are going through all the joys and frustrations that any regular couple goes through when they move in together.

It's HARD.

But we knew that going in.

So if you find yourself feeling the need to ask if it is all worth it, ask yourself this. Would we be going through all this if it wasn't?