Lately I've been trying to imagine that Ghost and I have more money than we need, sort of reverse psychology for the universe. If we pretend that we have more than we need, then perhaps the universe will make it so.
Believe it or not, it did. Ghost and I are now financially very comfortable. We could put a deposit on a house if we wanted to, or buy a brand new car.
But as I said, be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.
Our bank balance has expanded because of the redundancy payment I received last Friday. For the first time in my life, I'm unemployed.
It's a shock to the system to say the least. I'd have been with the company nine years this May.
This is going to be somewhat of a eulogy, I guess.
Don't get me wrong, the job was scarcely all sunshine and light. There were days it reduced me to tears. There were days when I was a hair's breadth from quitting. But it also gave me opportunities that I will always be grateful for.
I've considered myself very lucky. If you are going to spend so many hours a day, so many days a week doing something, it may as well be something you are enthusiastic about. My job was something I could evangelise about. I wasn't saving lives, I wasn't solving world poverty or anything like that, but it was something that I enjoyed doing, and there aren't too many people out there who can say that.
Not only that, but the people the company attracted were always extraordinary. You may not have agreed with everything they said or did, but you could never question their dedication or passion for what they did. Most of them were also the sort of people I'd enjoy spending time out of work with. People I'd have a beer with or go to a BBQ on the weekend with. Brilliant, challenging, interesting people.
The company always was about people.
The opportunities it offered me were astonishing. I was originally hired as a receptionist who helped with desktop publishing. They realised that while I was a good receptionist, I was better at DTP and moved me up and let me help with consultant work. Then they realised the talent I had for consulting work and moved me there. They let me teach, they let me work with clients and they sent me around the country and around the world while I did it. I spoke at international conventions of my peers, I worked on three continents, I was given responsibility and I was respected.
I'm going to miss that.
I hope and pray that I can find a job with a company that has similar visions, similar goals. I'm not sure that I'll ever find an opportunity like I had ever again. But this door has closed and now it's my job to find the new door that has opened for me and walk through it. If nothing else, it has given me a checklist for what I want in a career.
I want:
- to be able to walk up to the managing director or CEO and ask them how their weekend was
- to be challenged and thrown in at the deep end and be trusted to swim to shore
- to work with smart, dedicated people
- to travel and meet new people
- to teach and mentor and share my knowledge
This is a pretty steep list and I'm not sure what is out there for me, but I'm ready to look for it and make it my own.
Wish me luck.
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