undignified adj. finding yourself with one of these and 'sitting' with it through an hour-long meeting to discuss the colour treatment of the images of a government website (who fucking cares?!) before taking yourself off to the doctor (in extreme agony) and baring your fundament only to discover that the treatment for this particular affliction is stabbing a needle into the middle of it to inject a local anaesthetic and 'incising' it (please note, doctors describe this thing as 'severely painful'--this coming from professionals who will say, "This may sting a little." and you suddenly feel like you've been stabbed with a broadsword), which you suffer through (nearly drawing blood as you bite your finger to muffle your screams from the waiting room) and stagger home after mopping up all the blood (the doctor was a bit messy) and then waking up to find the initial procedure didn't treat the problem at all, but appears to have made it worse but you have to go and 'sit' (read: balance carefully on one butt cheek because sitting is frankly impossible at this point) through another meeting before you can see another doctor who makes tsk-ing sounds and a nurse who manages to cut herself on the anaesthetic ampoule because, yes, you guessed it, they need to stab another needle into it and incise it again, only this time they really fillet the damned thing and you nearly break the nurse's hand while you squeeze it and try not to shout "FUCK!" too loudly and frighten the children in the waiting room and then you stagger home, trying not to vomit or pass out and then the local wears off and you're pacing the floor in the lounge room trying to claw the skin off your body and choking back the sobs of pain and then you go to bed and you wake up and IT IS STILL THERE AND IT'S BIGGER and you ring the doctor and he tells you that it needs incising again and you tell him to fuck off, he's had two shots at this, that you want someone who's kung fu is better than his because be damned if you're going to go through all this again and he tells you to spend the weekend heavily medicated with painkillers and topical local anaesthetic and use a towel twisted into a ring so you can sit again and pray that you never need to take a crap while you wait for a surgeon to be available on Monday.

So he can stab a needle into it and flay the fucking thing again with a scalpel.

And all the while you can't sit or walk or concentrate properly and you can't tell anyone why! It's all so UNDIGNIFIED!

my dearest friend in the world, Chiliflower, has found out that her father has a malignant, inoperable tumour.

He has chosen to refuse chemo, but, despite being a staunch Catholic, he is welcoming prayers of all denominations.

Chili's dad is a top bloke, right up on top of my list of guys I wish were my dad as well. He's gentle, kind, witty, blindingly intelligent and an all round sweetie.

Some of you have met Chili. Others of you will have seen her around here or read of some of our adventures.

So if I could call on you lot to send white light, prayers, whatever spare good vibes you've got to Chili and her family right now, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.