Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
-- Confucius
Monkeys. *
120 average male marmosets, to be precise.
Before you call the men in the white coats, let me continue (no, this will not contain any of your earth logic).
This time two years ago, I was swanning around in a new wardrobe, flaunting a 10-kilo svelter figure and aiming to drop another 10 from it.
Not long after that, shit happened.
Some of it was good shit. Like marrying Ghost.
Some of it was shit shit. Like losing my job.
A lot of it was the sort of shit that had me reaching for remedial Tim Tams in quantities that would make Dr Atkins spin in his grave, if he wasn’t such a fat bastard when he croaked.
And so, I find myself two years later with the equivalent of 120 average male marmosets** hanging off my body. Mostly around my hips and thighs. And while they're excellent at picking fleas, they do not make for an attractive look.
I find myself on a quest. A quest to lose 120 marmosets. I’ve chosen to record my progress in terms of marmosets, simply because a) they're really cute, b) most people could lose the equivalent of a marmoset just having a good crap and c) monkeys make everything better.
Good, healthy monkey-loss runs at about 2-4 marmosets a week. It should take me about until November to rid myself of my marmoset infestation, barring unfortunate incidents with bananas. I'll be doing this with the help of the well-known support group, Monkey Watchers. I'll also be using motivational statements like 'Nothing tastes as good as getting those fricking monkeys off your outer thighs feels.'
Any support from my loyal and deeply confused audience would be appreciated.
Here's to less monkeys!
* For the uninitiated, Ghost and I have taken to use the word 'monkeys' in place of most expletives. It helps stop us from dropping the magic word in front of mum and, as I've mentioned, monkeys make everything better. Face it, you could flatten your thumb to a bloody paste with a hammer, but if you yell "MONKEYS!", you're going to grin.
** That's metric monkeys, not imperial monkeys.
Best of luck getting rid of those pesky monkeys. Why do they always tend to cling to one's butt and thighs? Bastard monkeys.
I think that it's time we had lunch again. :-) I also think you are a nut... one of the very finest, of course.
good luck losing the monkeys. :) *keeps fingers crossed that you lose the marmosets you want*
i think its just down right cute to say "MONKEYS" instead of expletives. must see if i can get the boy into that habit :)
*hugs* :)
Dear, please, not while I'm drinking my morning coffee. Coffee is not healthy for monitors and other electronic things.
Best of luck, keep us up on your progress!
Bye bye marmosets!
Badgers!
Personally, I've always thought that any marmosets you have ever worn have been worn in a very elegant manner, but each of us must make our own choice on how many we wish to carry.
You can count on my support.
As you may note from the above-changed URL, I got Movable Type installed and configured to my (current) satisfaction. What is left to do is largely cosmetic, and I am happy taking my time to tinker with that much.
Good luck with the marmosets. I need to shed a good many myself.
Hee hee. Monkeys *are* funny!
Good luck with your monkey-loss project. Tell those little bastards that their presence is no longer welcome.
Good luck on the monkeys. I need to lose a gorilla.
Ill stick with the expletives too.... I seem to forget monkeys when my thumb is a bloody paste....
Wow you have so many monkeys you want to loose some?? May I ask that you throw them my way? You see I'm on a savings binge and monkeys are very hard to come by...wait! oh no! I have northern hemisphere syndrome already! How could this happen so soon? You see in my land loosing a monkey is not a good thing given that a 'monkey' means 500 pounds! QUIDS that is, wonga, dosh. OK leaving now. Good luck with monkey loosing, i'll support you with my monkey saving! Cx
there is no possible WAY that you need to lose 100+ METRIC monkeys? Kilos? No way. I don't believe it. NOpe. I won't. ;-) :-)
You're so crazy...which is why I love you so. :-)
Drat that Atkins man!! How did he convince an entire planet that monkeys are the devil and bread and wine his minions?? Drat him , I say! I love my monkeys-- and yours and everyone else's! I'm tempted to compile the comments you left me on Xanga on this topic, but I'll assume your brain is still functional and you know what you said. I hate seeing beautiful women lured to the Dark Side. :(
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I love monkeys. But if you're out to lose 'em, then I'm with you. I ought to be dropping some chipmunks myself . . .