LadyMissTree - Confessions of a Glamorous Mind

21 May 2001

Lady Miss Tree's top ten dating tips

The Shawshank Redemption is a BAD first date film.

If your date reveals that he quit the priesthood because of the lifestyle, he's probably not in it for the long run.

No, fishtailing your car and slamming into the curb will NOT impress your date.

In preparation for a blind date, don't lie about your appearance. For example guys, if you say you are 6 feet tall, it may be embarrassing to find that a 5 foot 4 girl in platforms towers over you.

If you feel that you are over-reaching yourself even before you even ask your date out, there's a good chance you are right.

Don't tell your date you like something that you actually hate just to make conversation. For example, raving about Thai food may result in a huge Thai banquet being prepared by hand from scratch for you. Your date will not appreciate you pushing the food around on your plate and whining that you only said that to be nice. You may even end up wearing your dinner.

Asking "Have we dated long enough for me to fart in front of you without excusing myself?" will get you everything you deserve.

If you are going to dare your date to dive off the end of a pier and swim back to the beach in their underwear (told you there were more underwear stories), please have the decency to bring their clothes back to the beach. It's a long, cold walk back down that pier.

Reconsider your snogging plans if one of you has a head cold. Not only do you run the risk of catching it, they may also asphyxiate in the process. The same goes for tonsillitis. There is a good chance they will be cursing your name in the operating theatre six months later as their tonsils are removed after catching it from you.

Refrain from offering to drive on your date until you are sufficiently experienced to not need your dad in the passenger seat instructing you while your date rides in the back.

ladymisstree • 03:11 PM

LOL. Too funny.

- Asking "Have we dated long enough for me to fart in front of you without excusing myself?" will get you everything you deserve.

Hey, I think this is a question that shouldn't be asked after being married for ten years. Talk about the honeymoon being over. LOL.

CatInTheMist told me at 02:44 AM on 22|05|01

i recommend not farting until after you're married and have children.. then it's too late for her to escape!

grandpaboy told me at 02:56 AM on 22|05|01

AMEN! *G* I get such a kick outta reading your blogs!

Chaos told me at 03:33 AM on 22|05|01

If my HUSBAND did any of these things, he'd be paying dearly for them. ;-) Let alone a FIRST DATE.

I have another one.

11. Don't take a bong hit on the telephone the first time you call a girl and ask her out for a date. It's RUDE!

The Duchess

donnelly66 told me at 03:03 PM on 22|05|01

Tree...

I just can't get enuff of your stuff! Keep it coming! You crack me up every single time - such a classic.

Isles told me at 09:17 PM on 22|05|01

Good list! I'll check out more of your blogs.

I like the layout of your site. It's very attractive. :-)

Uber Jeanie told me at 06:06 AM on 24|05|01

So nice to know I am not the only one experiencing the 'interesting' dates.

Wynterbutterfly told me at 07:42 AM on 27|05|01

Due to the amount of comment spam I'm receiving on old entires, comments are now closed for this entry. Please feel free to add a comment on a more recent post or drop me an email!

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