It's been nearly three years. I thought we had agreed to a truce.
Sure, there was that incident in the apartment building hallway, but the terms of the agreement weren't breached. They have the rest of the world, just not anywhere inside my apartment.
Last night, the truce was breached...
I was standing in the bedroom, calmly folding laundry when I felt it. My spidey sense. Literally. It's a physical sensation. I KNOW when they are in the room.
I looked up at the ceiling, near the window and there it was. Big, hairy, black, too many legs and ugly as all fuck.
I took a deep breath and slowly backed out of the room.
But I didn't panic. Nope, not this time. Because I had a secret weapon.
My boy.
It was his first opportunity to come galloping in wearing shining armour.
He was a little bemused by my request initially ("KILL IT!") and needed some guidance for the correct tools for the job (bug spray and a sneaker), but he was willing and able.
I hid in the spare room. It went down something like this:
Him: [sound of bug spray] Oooh, shit! [sound of bug spray being flailed about as spider goes abseiling down the wall]
Me: Jumpy, is he?
Him: No... [sound of bug spray] Fuck, he's under the bed! [sound of utter destruction of bed] I can't see him... [more destruction and spraying] There he is! [THUMP] Can you get me some paper towel?
I returned with paper towel for him to dispose of the corpse. The bed was an utter wreck, but the spider came off much worse.
My boy, the hero.
I just hope the next one isn't next to anything more valuable...
*shudder* spiders. i just devoured your entire archives in less than 4 hours, love it, love them, love you :D dont be scared, im farfarfar away from you! ciao xxx
Spiders...
WHY does it always have to be spiders?
On the other hand, there are apparently folks down there who have found other uses for the little buggers...
Was it one of the BIG, hairy nasty buggers you warned me about?!?
AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
...
*ahem*
Kevin and I have a deal: He takes care of the spiders, and I take care of snakes. So far, it's a great deal, because he's had to deal with a bigillion spiders, and I've only had to rustle the bushes at one snake, in all these years.
Got your email. I suck for not answering yet. I'm very sad, but stuff to tell. More soon.
Love,
-P and the Pumpkin-girl
Wow, I just read the 3 years ago post. You are a really great writter...really great!
You have also scared me to death, I am visiting Melbourne for the first time this Novemeber and am meant to be moving there with the 'other' next year...I really don't know if I can do the spider thing
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You're too funny, Tree. :-) Remember how I told you the last time you wrote about spiders, that I am no longer afraid of them. I still am not. You may have missed a recent spider story that demonstrated my steely spidey tolerance. {See June 10th blog}
As a matter of fact, my big ole biker beau has me do all the spider control in our home. And since Emily came to live with us, that has practically become history, because that little darling can find spiders across the room and under furniture where she roots them out, chomps them and spits out their little rolled up bodies. ;-)