Let me start by saying that I like my men like I like my Saladas, man-sized, not snack or bite-sized. Thusly, we have had some difficulty finding appropriate raiment for Ghost down here. We were going to hold out until our trip back to the US this December, where we would purchase clothing in the sort of frenzy only seen at a half-off Manolo Blahnik sale.
Then we watched our first episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Poor Ghost barely knew what hit him.
While there was no need to subject him to anything as ghastly as 'manscaping' and he is sufficiently cognizant to recognise that there is no excuse for nose hair (although, being the ginge that he is, he could benefit from a teensy eyebrow tint), after that one episode, something had to be done about his wardrobe, stat!
I flung myself at Google's feet and begged for wisdom. After goggling (not googling) at the range of labels available to him (what, they make CK in his size and not mine?!) I found a place in Melbourne (well, if you count Dandenong as being 'in' Melbourne) and made plans to get out there and shop ourselves into oblivion, or at least serious debt.
ZZ Top knew what they were talking about when they sang "Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man." Gay men know it. Smart straight men know it, some pay lip service to it and others wander about in tracky dacks and singlets (InstaTranslate™: track pants and wife beaters) for the rest of their lives wondering why they can't pull chicks.
Which is why I was calling the shop 10 minutes before it was due to close (it's a REALLY long drive to Dandenong) and asking if they could kindly stay open a bit longer for us folk from the big smoke. The guy on the phone wasn't convinced.
I descended on the shop like Carson on speed, throwing items of all descriptions at Ghost while he cowered in the fitting room. Soon the salesman had a pretty good idea of the commission he was about to earn and happily kept the shop open 45 minutes after closing time.
Work, casual, recreational... we bought every outfit he could possibly need. Excepting perhaps something for a formal ritual virgin sacrifice, but who goes to those things any more, there are so few virgins these days.
And despite all his whining about having to go clothes shopping, there is a certain glint in his eye when he steps out in his new gear.
Indeed Bill, clothes do maketh the man.
You grace his life. :-)
Oh, most *certainly* there is something to the adage of clothes making the man. The psychology I feel in, say, business slacks and a button-up is altogether entirely different than, say, my JNCO baggies and a t-shirt. Good for Ghost that he discovered- prodded or otherwise- the timeless wisdom therein.
I...
I think I missed everything after the words "half-off Manolo Blahnik sale"...
What?
Oh yes. Sharp dressed men are yummy and will become tasty snack bits forthwith. Go Ghost!
Do you get to see the BBC programme 'What Not To Wear', with the (over here) infamous Trinny & Susannah? They pull no punches but their 'victims' of all sizes end up looking fabulously classy & vampy. (They do a few blokes too,) Would love to watch 'Queer Eye'. My fella wears loads of hand-me-downs, none of which are the right size for him, and many of which are horrendous. Men of the world: make some bloody effort! Good work :-)
I think Carson on speed would be very hairy. :-P
It is nice to have a man who can watch something like that and have an epiphany rather than a stroke. ;-)
We have What Not to Wear in the States as well -- Saturdays at 10PM and 1AM on TLC -- in case you wanted to keep an eye out. ^_^
Also, my very first Poppy was Lust ... and I graduated to Fantasy! I wore Fantasy at my wedding, actually. How funny!
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You went to Dandenong and you didn't come 10mins further down the road to visit with us!?
I know exactly the store you are talking about Ross and I went there a few weekends back to purchase very hard to find size 15 shoes.