Demotivated. Derailed. Discouraged. Disheartened. Spiritless. Uninspired. Unmoved. Pick your adjective, it's what I am right now.

Yesterday was a whole other ball of wax...

Our house guest was gone, so I could maintain better control over my eating. I'd blown a wad of money and bought myself a better pair of walking shoes (the old Cons really were not doing the job).

Imagine them with a softer blue grey and petal pink. Kinda girlie, but oh my, the difference they made to my feet. I walked taller, stronger, more freely.

I also got myself some resistance bands and a mat for the Pilates DVD my beloved bought me for our wedding anniversary.

I was little Miss Inspired. I was going to throw myself back into eating right and getting plenty of exercise.

I knew the scales would have bad news for me tomorrow at weigh in. I've been eating appallingly, even if I have been keeping up the exercise. So I've made it a point to measure myself once a month, so that I'm not hanging on what the scale says every week.

This weekend was my monthly measure. In past measures, I've lost 17cm (6.6"), 14cm (5.5") and 17cm (6.6") respectively. Two weeks ago I had to buy new jeans to replace the ones I bought at Christmas, as my old ones barely stayed up. People are commenting on how much smaller I look recently. Cinema seats are positively comfy these days.

So how did the tape measure show a measly 2cm (.7") loss this month? Worse, my arms are BIGGER than they were last month! I measured them three times to make sure.

Yes, I measured in the same spots as last time. Yes, I used the same tape measure.

What on earth has gone wrong? It might be water weight, it's that time of the month, but I don't feel bloated and my bra fits fine, which is the usual giveaway if I'm retaining water.

I've been doing weights recently, but not enough to pump up my arms already, surely?

It was such a blow. I was all set to have another satisfying figure to write down because I feel smaller. My clothes fit better. How could the tape measure tell a different story?

I know I shouldn't complain. It was still a loss, even if it wasn't a significant one. I just wanted this so badly, and to be denied it is almost painful. And tomorrow's weigh in isn't going to be a surprise, but bad news is bad news, whether you're expecting it or not.

It was like being derailed. I know tomorrow I've got to get my shit together and get back on track. I can do this. I will do this. And I'll have days like this, and worse, later on. So I'll just suck it up and maybe throw myself into a bath tonight and tell myself that everything will be better when I'm chin deep in Love Spell scented bubbles. But any ideas or motivation from the audience would be gratefully accepted and appreciated!