30kg gone, never to haunt me again. 66lb whittled away, gone forever.
I am incapable of expressing how good this feels right now. I was literally shaking with shock on the scales at the meeting today (late weigh in because of the public holiday on Monday). My heart was fluttering in my chest and I've felt 12ft tall and bullet proof all day.
I am so proud of how far I've come and how much I've achieved. And I'm inspired to finish the journey, to make it to goal and to show the world just what I'm capable of.
So much has changed since I posted my list of reasons why I wanted to lose weight.
For a start, I can wear a skirt without tights and not have my thighs bleed from the chafing. Tights go on like a dream. I've moved beyond a size 14 in jeans and I'm heading into 12s. I wear pretty lingerie and have much more choice in clothes.
I'm proud of my body and I'm proud of how much healthier I am. At my heaviest I found myself taking naps at every opportunity. Now I'm busting with energy. I hardly ever get sick, while before I used to catch every bug that went past. I'm enjoying being physical and moving and getting out into the fresh air.
I have some way to go with the list of emotional reasons, but that's what therapy is for. You don't break the habits of 25 years overnight (yes, I've been eating emotionally since I was seven), but I'm working on it. And I'm proud of how far I've come.
I'm learning to be kinder and more patient with myself. I'm becoming more forgiving of my faults. I'm listening to my needs and respecting them. I'm valuing myself more highly and respecting myself for my capabilities, my determination and my strength.
This has been so much more than simply weight loss and anyone who is trying to lose weight who thinks it's just about shifting fat is deluding themselves.
I am a changed woman, inside and out. I'm changing more every day. It's a beautiful journey and more than anything else, I'm so glad that on February 16th 2004, I had the courage to take the first step.
This journey will not end. Sure, I'll reach goal, but I will always be discovering new and wonderful things about myself. This is a journey of a lifetime and I can't wait to see what's around the next corner.